Is baptism a choice

The way we talk about baptism to our children does not describe it as a choice. In the Choose the Right manual in use in primary, we have to get past the 'I can choose the right', the 'I chose to follow Christ', and the 'I can make right choices' lessons before we make it to baptism. In this lesson we get 'baptism is a commandment', and 'baptism makes Heavenly Father happy', before the statement, "When we are eight years old, we can follow the example of Jesus and be baptised." The 'can' in this statement does not indicate choice, but rather a removal of restrictions.

This approach does not make obvious the fact that this is a choice, and certainly does not show that there are alternative options. These children do not know how much they still do not know. In practise this is a choice with only one answer. If they choose differently we as concerned and compassionate parents explain that it is wrong and why it is so.

This leaves our eight year olds in the position to technically choose against getting baptised. But in order to make that choice they have to come to the conclusion that the faith of their parents is wrong, that the commandments to get baptised are therefore not valid, that they don't care if Heavenly Father is unhappy, and then defend this choice against their parents and peers. All this without being made aware that this is a choice, or that there are ways of loving and honoring God that do not involve getting baptised into the Mormon church.

Our eight year olds do not have exposure to alternative nomos, to other modes of thought and cultures that may be just as valid as our own assumptions. If we only ever boil our chicken our children may be incapable of frying the thing. We accept the fact that children are not fully capable of making all sorts of important life choices. Why is this one different?