Clarity

I was driving into Lethbridge. It was later in the evening, you know that particular time when the sun has just gone down, when everything is darkening but not yet dark and you flick on your headlights. They don't help but you feel better with them on. On this night I was afflicted with a state of glum introspection. And while contemplating I became strangely captivated by the lights of the oncoming traffic. Here were these brilliant points of light, moving along dark road, they like I had somewhere to be. These were my brothers, my comrades, making our ways to our respective goals. Sure we had different paths to take but we were sharing a common pursuit. As our paths briefly crossed we were friends. yet my melancholic reverie persisted. A persistent beast it is.

But then everything changed, with a haste unimaginable everything was different. There in front of me sat a thing, a thing that so thoroughly hijacked my senses and captured my mind. There behind the cars and above the road lay the sky. Suddenly the night was no longer dark, and I became elated. And slightly ashamed. For the sky did not at that moment suddenly spring into existence, but I had failed until that time to see it. In my reflexive state and with my focus upon my immediate tasks there did not exist a sky. It lay right behind what I saw, I stared towards it and it did not exist. But it sat with patience and waited, waited for me to notice. To discover.

So I apologize to all my friends, and to all those that I have loved, or more importantly who have loved me. I apologize for anytime that you have felt shunted, ignored, ridiculed, passed over, forgotten, and disappointed. But mostly I apologize for all those times I remained apathetic when I should have been shouting, laughing smiling and crying. When you felt pain and I let you, when you felt sad and I left you.