I have had arguments with the idea of family, not the actual family unit (don’t worry mom I plan on having one of my own one day) but of focus and familial exclusion. It begins, actually, before family does in a place where you can probably all still agree with me. Most of us have experienced this or at the very least seen it. Romance ruins friendships.
Dating (or courtship for you archaic folk) is a dangerous battleground and friends are the pawns, constantly being sacrificed for the greater good. Pawns are limited in their capabilities but if developed far enough they transform into a queen. Umm this analogy is getting away from itself. However without pawns the game of chess would not be pleasant at all. Okay, Moving on.
Some claim that there is no such thing as a truly platonic relationship. And provided it is a friendship with the gender to which you are attracted I think I just might agree. As friends you are always either developing love or losing it. And somewhere along the way someone proposes the idea of romance. This opens people up for rejection and hurt which more often then not drives them away. Or alternately, if by some miracle they are not rejected they become a couple, and if pursued long enough leads to marriage and the inevitable ignorance of previous friends. Romance and Family lead to exclusion, family destroys friendship by placing a new object/desire/goal that did not exist before which supersedes those wonderful friend relationships.
This replacement of friends with family becomes an issue with which I fight, for I place a great deal of importance and value in friends, so much so that I wish I could bring them all with me. Picking just one person and becoming sealed to them, leads to an exclusion of others. This idea in my opinion seems wrong. But this is the way it is. If you have chosen to spend the rest of eternity sealed to another person then you should place them above all others. You do not screw around with a relationship like that; it leads to eternal consequences one of which may be to remain single forever. This is less of an issue if one was to believe in soul mates, having one person specifically suited to you. And with fate conspiring for your good you will have a happy forever. However if you are like me and believe that any two people with enough effort can and will create an eternal felicity, then that throws the options and opportunities wide open provided both parties can put in the proper effort. So if friend A, friend B, random stranger C and ex-girlfriend D all have the same potential then choosing one certainly further excludes the others. For you have rejected them with your choice, It becomes even harder to remain friends with A when you have chosen C. Because A was an option ultimately unchosen that might leave the door open for what ifs, just maybes and all that rubbish.
Are friends really worth so little? Sure we need to develop that important relationship with spouse. But what about parents we leave them and cleave to another yet we remain sealed with them. When you have as great a group of friends as I possess you never want to lose any of them. Not now before I die nor in the eternities after. Why can we not have a unit somewhere between where friends are and where family begins. One of the core doctrines we preach is that families can be together forever, and we are sealed and united for such a goal. But where does that leave me and my friends? Why are blood relations so important and those relations with friends which we go out of our way to develop and cultivate, be throw to the side. To all of my friends, I love you!! I am not satisfied with a till marriage us do part, nor even a till death us do part. Promise me, my friends, to join me in eternity, I hope it is enough that I consider you family. May God look upon us and allow us this great honor.
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